Saturday, 19 January 2008

The things I do for feminism

I just sent this email to Russell Brands radio show.
I have no shame.

Right so I can't sleep and I'm listening to last weeks podcast which has inspired a great deal of thinking about things, as I'm sure you'll (and by you I mean the poor researchers who have to read through all these emails, most of which probably, knowing the nature of most of Russell's listeners, are pornographic in nature, don't worry this one isn't, though Russell if you're reading this for you it could be ;) ) be glad to hear.

About the monkey sex research you mentioned last week; that piece of research was an example of the gross misogyny prevalent throughout the world. The boy monkeys "groom" the lady monkeys and then the lady monkeys are more likely to want to have sex. So if you have a bit of foreplay the lady monkey will have sex with you (hopefully not you personally Russell; do not bear this in mind on your next trip to monkey world). In the minds of the twisted researchers this becomes prostitution. I'm pretty sure there's a difference between making out (the people equivalent of grooming) and handing over a load of cash for a lady doing the deed, yet in the mid of stupid researchers they become the same thing.

This kind of thing really gets my goat (not that I have a goat, I used to have part of a goat, at least emotionally if not financially, it was called Brigadier and in the end my music teacher ate it), and I imagine it gets your goat as well. At least I hope it does. You are after all a stated lover of the lady flesh, which hopefully encompasses ladies in general, not just our flesh but also our brilliant brains as well... right? You're a revolutionary, why not come out behind the most shocking revolution of all; feminism. We know you love women, how about demonstrating that love with less immediate gratification ;) How about a new segment, exposing some piece of ridiculous misogyny each week. Or a section for the woman with the most interesting brain. I notice actually that there is no ladies on your show on a regular basis, how about a few more lady guests? After all you've had on David Icke and Rainbow George and Dawkins (brilliant btw), why not have on a radical feminist or two? If nothing else Russell allow me to appeal to your baser instincts by pointing out that feminists generally have far fewer sexual hangups than non-feminist ladies. More feminists= more nookie of a better quality. Surely that's a revolution you could get behind?

You also mentioned mice and shoes. When I googled mice and shoes this is what I discovered :
Also you are a vegetarian. How do things like this story of a London hotel failing to understand the simple basic principles of vegetarianism make you feel? Cos it would really piss me off. Does this kind of thing happen to you often?
Thirdly I was wondering how a man with your reputation with members of the opposite sex feel about these contraptions; fake handholds to show you're not groping someone.... Maybe you should carry one at all times :)

keep up the good work, only, obviously, make it better :)
miss sophie

ps/ I liked you on the 'other' radio show; the naughtier you are the better
pps/ Have you seen the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch? You should, there is a moment in it, seeable here on youtube, which I think you would appreciate.
ppps/ I am aware it's a tiny bit sad that I've got nothing better to do than email you this in the middle of the night. I'm a little bit insomniac....
pppps/ If you are, perchance, looking for a runofthemill radical feminist type for some reason, presumably radio related, then look no further; I am one, contactable at this email and at xxxxxxxxxxxxx. Other radical feminists are available.

On the positive I really do think it might bring feminsim to the attention of a very worthy cool intelligent influencial human being. On the other hand I really do have absolutely no shame.

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