The things I do for feminism

I just sent this email to Russell Brands radio show.
I have no shame.

Right so I can't sleep and I'm listening to last weeks podcast which has inspired a great deal of thinking about things, as I'm sure you'll (and by you I mean the poor researchers who have to read through all these emails, most of which probably, knowing the nature of most of Russell's listeners, are pornographic in nature, don't worry this one isn't, though Russell if you're reading this for you it could be ;) ) be glad to hear.

About the monkey sex research you mentioned last week; that piece of research was an example of the gross misogyny prevalent throughout the world. The boy monkeys "groom" the lady monkeys and then the lady monkeys are more likely to want to have sex. So if you have a bit of foreplay the lady monkey will have sex with you (hopefully not you personally Russell; do not bear this in mind on your next trip to monkey world). In the minds of the twisted researchers this becomes prostitution. I'm pretty sure there's a difference between making out (the people equivalent of grooming) and handing over a load of cash for a lady doing the deed, yet in the mid of stupid researchers they become the same thing.

This kind of thing really gets my goat (not that I have a goat, I used to have part of a goat, at least emotionally if not financially, it was called Brigadier and in the end my music teacher ate it), and I imagine it gets your goat as well. At least I hope it does. You are after all a stated lover of the lady flesh, which hopefully encompasses ladies in general, not just our flesh but also our brilliant brains as well... right? You're a revolutionary, why not come out behind the most shocking revolution of all; feminism. We know you love women, how about demonstrating that love with less immediate gratification ;) How about a new segment, exposing some piece of ridiculous misogyny each week. Or a section for the woman with the most interesting brain. I notice actually that there is no ladies on your show on a regular basis, how about a few more lady guests? After all you've had on David Icke and Rainbow George and Dawkins (brilliant btw), why not have on a radical feminist or two? If nothing else Russell allow me to appeal to your baser instincts by pointing out that feminists generally have far fewer sexual hangups than non-feminist ladies. More feminists= more nookie of a better quality. Surely that's a revolution you could get behind?

You also mentioned mice and shoes. When I googled mice and shoes this is what I discovered : http://www.mummytombs.com/mummymaking/mummymouse.htm
Also you are a vegetarian. How do things like this story of a London hotel failing to understand the simple basic principles of vegetarianism make you feel? Cos it would really piss me off. Does this kind of thing happen to you often?
Thirdly I was wondering how a man with your reputation with members of the opposite sex feel about these contraptions; fake handholds to show you're not groping someone.... Maybe you should carry one at all times :)

keep up the good work, only, obviously, make it better :)
miss sophie

ps/ I liked you on the 'other' radio show; the naughtier you are the better
pps/ Have you seen the movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch? You should, there is a moment in it, seeable here on youtube, which I think you would appreciate.
ppps/ I am aware it's a tiny bit sad that I've got nothing better to do than email you this in the middle of the night. I'm a little bit insomniac....
pppps/ If you are, perchance, looking for a runofthemill radical feminist type for some reason, presumably radio related, then look no further; I am one, contactable at this email and at xxxxxxxxxxxxx. Other radical feminists are available.

On the positive I really do think it might bring feminsim to the attention of a very worthy cool intelligent influencial human being. On the other hand I really do have absolutely no shame.

torchwood liveblogging and such

Right I'm going to liveblog my way through torchwood cos I has no one to watch it with...
(I've also added in random asides clarifying points in this charming italic font ;) )

I am so excited, I cannot tell you how excited...

Huh the whole first section revealed by trailers; not good.
(I must admit that I could have avoided being spoiled were it not for my temptation to see lots of the james marsters John barrowman kissing that comes up later)

Although the fact that this whole first section is all kinds and flavours of awesome = love
the blowfish sports car is delight
(I particularly liked the little old welsh lady. Spot on to have her swearing at them!)

love that Gwen cares about speeding while chasing the fish because of running of kids; gwen is brill
(and its what i always think when I see them racing around cardiff, and so in keeping with her previous character development and the boy that was run over and died in Season 1's Random Shoes)

owen is some how magically sexier now, being in charge suits him, plus has he lost weight. love the music btw, very seventies cop show esque. the whole thing as a grittier feel than the last time
although blowfish's monologue is a little predictable and ott. Recognise the voice of blowfish man as well
(this is because he's always playing monsters on doctor who it seems. His name is Paul Kasey )

the face on tt= (team torchwood) when they notice its jack= great love
and jacks as they cope with out him; jealous and proud. oooooo gwen is pissed.... ianto jack shippers will be happy; that was a flirty look

james masters walking through like some sort of god!!!! boooyakasha! sex on a f-ing stick. randomly violent sex on stick. yum yum. I have a thing for peninsular war era uniforms ever since sharpe, james in one is exciting... and pick the ones he wants in the bar is hilarious. he's funny too!
(I may have gotten a little carried away in fangrrrl squee-ness around now.)

geek-gasm star wars reference!!!!
(I heart random appropriate referencing to other cultural tropes, and this one was bang on)

and they're time agent friends. tt are not happy about being left behind and their gonna follow- I think this might be a bad plan

oooo jacks sad, he's sexy sad. james masters is so flirty. Is it wrong that this is an ginormous turn on. captain jack and spike making out all sexy then fighting with guns and blur and it's crossing the same line as that buffy episode where her and spike fuck the house down....
lol! the more fun when he's around thing.... ooooooo james marsters character is called john hart sexy; is that a thing for time agents then? being called captain j~ h~? drinking together awesome.

ooooo and john's in rehab, murder rehab.

tender almost kiss. nice. gorgeously filmed.

partners for 5 years!! arguing over which was the wife. he is cute tosh! well noticed. oooo dick jokes lol
(there's nothing wrong with appreciating cock innuendo, especially when there's someone involved whose happy to admit that his is the smaller, if he'd been huffy about it I wouldn't have liked it)

ooooo he's come for the powers of good! (supposedly- don't believe that) ooo he likes tosh. cute. awww john's hurt that jack don't want him. and johns right tosh is the cute brainy one :)
(one of the things I like about torchwood is that it plays off these tropes of the cold distancing guy, the sex crazed cad the cute geek girl etc but the characters do not become the cliche; they are derived from the trope not part of the trope if that makes sense)

poor cgi for the entrance shot. disappointing. god james marsters has a nice arse.
oooooo jack gwen moment. he wants to tell her it's a moment all right. blimey jack's flirting. shit Gwen got engaged!!!! jack's jealous. subtly but still. lol stands to reason that Gwen's proposal would be a joke

oooooo jack does want her. Goddamn it I don't want her and jack I want her and Owen!

john is sexy and even more flirty than jack; unbelievable. ha no kisses!! that's gonna get broken
I've missed wales...

john in love? it's a lie. he shot her. thats my bet. john killed her.

Gwen broke a rule. oh dear. silly gwen. she's jumpy. I was jumpy. ha now he's playing the seeds of doubt card. well played captain john.

I knew the kissing rule was gonna get broken. yep he's paralysed her with lip gloss; awesome. oh and she has 2 hours not to die. excellent.

ha it's all about jack; john wants him back..... unsuprising
nice cut away trick.

owen and tosh, not a combo I woulda picked. ha! welsh word! please don't flirt with owen tosh, it'll only embarrass you. owen saying he needs a proper woman. oh my god he's flirting back? holy crap no. blimey he nutted her. owen does like her! christ last season he might have let him kill her.
(I really should have seen tosh and owen coming; owen needs a woman to feel validated and tosh is lonely/desperate)

shit did john shoot him?
ah.... ianto and jack that's more like it. ianto's not playing. he won't flirt with him. jack asks him on a date!!!!!!!!! shit yeah!!!!!! ianto will go on a date with him!!!!! blimey blimey blimey. ianto's sexy and flustered and that was bloody fantastic!!!!!!
(This was the point when I started dancing around in fangrrrl joy)

so excited. jack and ianto finally for real. they're gonna have lovely dates. torchwood is so good.
oooo open lift danger!
calling ianto eye candy = brilliant!
james giving ianto a chance to save them. ooooo john is a bit of a nihilist isn't he. sex and jokes to cover the essential nothing ness of existence
5194 jack= rear of the year! wow

tt are pretty but stupid. awwww he really has done it because he wants jack back.
bloody hell! we know jack can live but john doesn't. looks like murder rehab didn't take. no wonder he wants jack back ;)

ianto as the hero figure :) just where he belongs. ah the swagger, traditional james master swagger.

tosh finds gwen. cute. I really really miss wales. cardiff looks nice at dawn.
hmmmm john putting together his pieces. seems he know the fish boy. ah fish boy has a piece of the bomb thing. awww tt are back ready to stop him. and johns face when jacks not dead. brilliant.

awww jack comes back for beauty. I knew john killed her :) ha he's gotta try the orgy card. cute. o no. john's gonna die. and he's taken gwen hostage. plus - tt are cold they were happy for him to die.
(This for me is the main difference between doctor who and tt- tt are way way more ruthless and human and base about this sort of thing than the doctor. the doctor would have either felt guilty or been making some moral pronouncement if he'd been willing to let john die. tt are just living in the moment not the consequence)

they're doing something exciting with dna.... lol! the poodle fancying = priceless. the theory on 51st century sexuality is expanding to encompass beastiality....

shit gwen does love him

awww and they're pagan in the future

awww the final kiss is the most believable and cute.

ooooooooo whose grey. a kid? jacks kid? that's my official guess

final shot is over dramatix but excellently so

the previews are tres tres exciting. and alot of sex. an awful lot of sex.. plus they've got a doctor and Martha jones and another jm visit by the looks/ sound of it.

I am now in a state of barely contained excitement....
I think I have to go and have a lie down...


In summation; new torchwood rocks

If walks like a duck....

University of Reading study says that placenta acts like parasite as reported here by the bbc. I think, amazingly, women might have already figured this out.

And in another university study, this time by Queens university Ontario, scientists are shocked to discover that women do NOT swing their hips to attract men, because they only do that when they're least fertile. Because women only have sex to get pregnant. Or are we supposed to imagine that the best way for women to get a good mate/ fellow parent to their offspring is to attract some random guy in their most fertile period, not build up a relationship with them. This is shoddy, culturally imperialist blinkered science. grrrrr

all at sea

This was a hard week.

I've been quite stupidly ridiculously lucky and since I was 17 have been pretty much exclusively in the company of pro-queer, pro-feminist clever liberal types. And while during that time I've had to deal with people who were not any of those things I've done it through the lens of having regular affirming acceptance of my ideals, my beliefs, my sexuality. Which I always knew was actually pretty unusual, but it's one thing to know and it's another thing to actually live it, as I am now finding out.

I am glad in a funny stupid sort of way; it's a great way of hardening my feminist resolve, of reminding me of my privilege as an articulate intelligent person. And yet it's too hard.

I've never been an adult queer in an unwelcome environment. Avoidance of unwelcoming environments has dictated some very important choices in my life so being forced to be here isn't wonderful. And I just found out my first school placement (this course is 50% taught at uni, 50% practical placement) is in a Roman Catholic school which, according to its website, thinks that drawing pictures of dead relatives and saints is an appropriate activity for 8 year olds! Pagan queer feminist teacher in a rough inner city catholic school... yeah I'm nervous.

I just feel isolated at the moment, in a way I haven't done since I was... yeah 17. There are so many ways in which my attitudes towards things my coursemates take for granted are so different as to be alien to them( ; ie. they say:little girls are naturally sweeter and like dolls and boys have more energy I say: mostly behaviour which is induced by society, AND I don't see the difference in energy just in ways people let them express that. they say: I don't care how many civil liberties the government encroaches it if might save one life. I say: arag!! well no actually I respond with coherent if extremely simple arguments against their crazy right wing conservativeness, but inside I am saying ARAG!!

coming out is a process. I always knew that, but it feels like I keep having to come out as so many different things at once. Like when someone said "so you're a feminist to me" yesterday like I'd confessed I enjoyed dismembering puppies in my spare time, or when I talked about an ex-girlfriend during lunch one day and the whole group perceptibly moved away. Or indeed pretty much any time I express any opinion about anything. And I know this is most likely what most people go through, and I probably sound whiny and naive but I really hadn't expected it would be like this; so overwhelming and isolating.


And that's my life at the moment, which combined with a whole load of other shit is making me feel really really crap... I'm trying to keep it together, to remember why I'm here, why I'm doing this, who really matters. But urgh. Ad next weekend I have to go play nice at my parents 25 wedding anniversary, which is actually the absolute last thing I need to do right now.

But even though the people I really love are a very long way away right now they are still trying to be there for me. I spent 2 hours yesterday on the phone to a friend who hates the phone. It's just hard to remember how loved and supported you are in the moment you're feeling the hate.

Any advice on how to deal with dense conservatives who believe whole hearted in the patriarchy and are so hetero normal as to not even understand what that means will be more than appreciated.

ever noticed how buses come in 3's?

Tonight I was watching midlands today, the BBC news service for this area of the British isles. They were promoting this website. Go. Have a shufty. I'll wait.

Obviously there is an awful lot that a queer feminist can find to say about the idea of "moaning about men," an awful alot of it far to easy and obvious.
The moans themselves; mostly women complain about men treating them as lesser beings, not appreciating the work they do in their homes, not being treated as equal adults, men treating their partners as domestic servants rather than PARTNERS. All oh so obvious to the feminist reader. And pretty indicative of everything feminism is working against.

So how are these women advised to deal with these issues? Should they talk to their men about it? Should they leave their partners to find someone who will respect them? Or should you just suck it up because thats how men are; the gender role of men is one which does not encompass behaving like a decent reasonable adult human being? Well the whole "moan about men" name of the website really gives that one away.

And then there's this story. My only thought; would they perform a castration in order to prevent a boys indignity of wet dreams and the pain of blue balls? Somehow I think not.

If that's not enough for you I am watching a documentry on channel 4 right now about children and young being abducted and traficed into the sex trade or sold as wives in china. Because in the patriarchy we're chattel.

So yeah not happy. Sometimes the world pisses me off.

edited to add: while on my trip round the world I was in china and while watching this documentary I realised I saw one of the posters of missing children featured in this documentary. I remember being in the city, remember seeing the poster and wondering what the story was behind it. Now I know. Which is actually very very sad.

teaching

Right, so I'm back from my trip around the world and at some point I shall post up my experiences as a feminist travelling in some fairly unfeminist places. But for now I'm going to talk about what I'm up to at the moment:

I'm doing teacher training at a pretty prestigous british university in the midlands. that's all I shall say about the institution, but you can probably deduct :) I'm doing Early Years education and boy oh boy having I been getting some serious feminist/ queer/ pagan blogging material out of the whole thing.

The are pretty much no men. There are quite a few reasons for this. Most obviously teaching little children is not seen as the preserve of men in the patriarchy. There has to be something wrong with you, like being gay, or a pervert, if you actually want to spend time with kids, according to the stupid powers that be here. And of course Early Years Education is the least prestigious branch of education... stupidly. I mean of course the start of things, the basic building blocks of all future education are the least prestigous, that makes sense right? But regardless of whether it makes sense it's not as prestigious or as respect, so of course fewer men want to do it. Which in turn makes it less prestigious and respected. And of course the fact that few men would want to work in a women dominated enviroment....

I was at a lecture this week on inclusion. The assumption of whiteness, of straightness, of the patriarchy was pretty sickenly obivous, even in such a pc subject. Everything else was referred to as "the other" even after the lecturer had highlighted the exclusive nature of using such terms. As part of this "other", working in a conservative gender stereotype perpetuating, pro christian, anti queer enviroment is weird..

Princess Leia made me a feminist

I know it's been a while since I posted but I've been busy in land of joyTM, also known as Norway and buying a car and other mundanities since I returned. There are many exciting posts backlogged now, including an article on Virgina Woolf and Iran (together not 2 separate articles) that I wrote on a train, two band reviews and a number of other sundry musings.

But before any of that I saw this story today and I had to blog about it, it came as no surprise to me, I've watched the original 3 movies so many times that I actually know a lot of it off by heart. As a 10 year old girl I actually knew the entirety of those three movie of by heart. And not just because they where cool sci-fi films. Nope, Star Wars changed my world. It wasn't the first of my great existential moments of childhood, of which I shall say more in a later post, but it was the experience that made me a feminist.

I mean Princess Leia is a pretty amazing role model. She's an experienced politician, and while ok she is beautiful it is, in the first 2 original movies, a beauty without vanity, prepared to get down and dirty with the rebellion. She's a leader, valued for her intelligence and her passionate commitment to a political course. She's a fighter, in fact she's the best shot out of anyone in the original star wars films. And she doesn't just sit and wait for stuff to happen to her, she instigates, she's more important than her love interest and he isn't threatened by that. Their relationship is based on antagonism sure but also respect. I challenge you to find a better feminist role model in the movies for children growing up in the 80's and 90's. There was really very little there.

Which is the key for me really. Growing up in the deepest darkest back waters of west wales I had no feminist role models apart from my grandmother and the kick ass feminist attitude of ones then 60 year old grandma is rarely apparent to 10 year olds. I lived in a household where women waited on and took care of men. Where men could and did use physical violence and the threat of physical violence to silence women and 10 year old girls. I lived in a society where intelligence, especially and particularly female intelligence, was a bad thing. And where male and female relationships were based on the physical attractiveness of women, not their fesitiness or abilities. In that context Star Wars didn't just give me hope, it showed me what to hope for. And gave me a massive crush on Harrison Ford that I still can't quite get over....

Writing this has reminded me that I've been wanting for a long time to write a series of essays on female characters relationships as models for their fans relationships. Maybe I'll post them up here. I could cover how the Sarah and Jareth relationship in Labyrinth has left a generation of intelligent women with a david bowie fetish (or according to one of my ex-girlfriends a significant penis fear... but that's an entirely different story), and examine how her self actualisation is only achieved through rejecting powerful symbols of patriarchal oppression.

Or how Spike and Buffy's relationship on BtVS is a direct consequence of the psychological affects of the Han and Leia and Sarah and Jareth relationship on the audience physche; same generation was the key audience for all three shows. Buffy has a relationship based on mutual antagonism and respect, but which also has a phase of jareth like obsession and possessive behaviour which is only resolved when she rejects his power over her through self determination.
The relationships of key characters in shows can actually be seen to reflect the growing rise of feminism and, in turn, the changing feminist struggles of its audience....

I could write a brilliant doctorate on this, if only I was doing a phd in television or media or something. Instead I got in the Warwick PGCE course and shall be studying there next year. I am very excited, I mean this will pay the bills and I'll have the chance to shape and mold young minds. Apparently some people find it slightly disturbing the way I start moving my hands like a puppet master of tiny invisible puppets everytime I say that....

But yes to swing back on topic. Princess Leia is why I because a feminist. Not many people can say that.